5 Ways to Thrive Sexually in your Marriage

Embracing God's Design for Intimacy

Marriage is a sacred bond, a covenant before God, promising to stand by each other through thick and thin. It's a journey filled with joys, challenges, and everything in between. Yet, amidst the trials and triumphs, one aspect often remains unspoken but profoundly impacts the overall health of a marriage: sexuality.

God, in His infinite wisdom, designed marriage as a union where physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy intertwine. It's within this sacred bond that we are called to nurture and cherish the gift of sexuality. However, navigating this aspect of marriage can sometimes be challenging. Fortunately, God's blueprint for thriving sexually in marriage is accessible to all who seek it.

  1. Communication is Key: The foundation of any successful marriage lies in open and honest communication. This principle extends to the realm of sexuality. Couples must feel comfortable discussing their desires, concerns, and boundaries without fear of judgment. Effective communication fosters understanding, intimacy, and mutual satisfaction in the bedroom.
    • Ephesians 4:15: "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ."
    • Proverbs 15:1: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
    • Ephesians 5:25: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
  2. Prioritize Time Together: In our fast-paced world, it's easy to neglect quality time with our spouse. Yet, investing time and effort into nurturing the marital bond is essential for a thriving sex life. Schedule regular date nights, weekend getaways, or simply carve out moments for intimate connection amidst daily responsibilities. Cultivating emotional closeness outside the bedroom enhances physical intimacy within it.
    • Ecclesiastes 9:9: "Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun."
    • Song of Solomon 7:11-12: "Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love."
  3. Embrace Emotional Intimacy: True intimacy transcends the physical realm; it encompasses emotional and spiritual connection as well. Engage in activities that deepen your emotional bond, such as heartfelt conversations, shared experiences, and acts of kindness. Building trust, vulnerability, and understanding lays the groundwork for a fulfilling sexual relationship.
    • Proverbs 27:19: "As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart."
    • 1 Peter 3:7: "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
    • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
  4. Explore Together: God delights in the uniqueness of each individual, including our sexual desires and preferences. Rather than viewing sex as a mere physical act, embrace it as a journey of exploration and discovery with your spouse. Be open to trying new things, expressing your needs, and learning what brings pleasure to both partners. Mutual respect and consent are paramount as you embark on this journey together.
    • Song of Solomon 4:16: "Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits."
    • 1 Corinthians 7:3-5: "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
  5. Seek God's Guidance: Ultimately, the most profound source of wisdom on marriage and sexuality is found in God's Word. Invite Him into your marriage, seeking His guidance, grace, and strength to navigate the complexities of intimacy. Pray together, study Scripture, and cultivate a shared spiritual life that enriches every aspect of your relationship, including your sexual connection.
    • Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
    • James 1:5: "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
    • Hebrews 13:4: "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

Thriving sexually in marriage is not a distant dream but a tangible reality within reach. By embracing God's design for intimacy and committing to communication, quality time, emotional connection, exploration, and seeking divine guidance, couples can experience the fullness of God's blessings in their marital union. Let us embark on this journey together, empowered by faith and love, to cultivate marriages that honor God and flourish in every season of life.


WRITTEN BY:

Rodney Elliott

Rodney is the Executive Pastor for all of Pathway Church leading the Campus Pastors and Central Services Teams. He and his wife Jenny attend the Goddard Campus and have four school-age kids.